Here it is Sunday night and I sit here typing with a knot growing in my stomach. Where has the time gone? We are about to close one chapter of our book and start a new one. I can't believe how fast the past nine months has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was having my last day of work at the VA and starting on this journey of moving and staying home with Jack and Will. Boy have I been blessed. I can honestly say I had many mixed emotions about being a stay at home mom. At first I was happy and excited to not have to wake up to an alarm or miss a full day of fun with my boys, but I was also nervous-would I become bored and lonely and miss having friends and something of my own to do each day? Now I can say that there were many days were I was lonely (and still are), but there were so many more days that were fun and exciting and wonderful. I feel so lucky to have been able to be home with Will for 13 of the past 15 months! (I really only worked 2 months after my maternity leave before we moved) To watch him grow and learn and change. I have loved having Jack home with me everyday too. Certainly there have been MANY challenging days (as there are with 3 year olds), but we have laughed and gone on so many adventures whether in our own backyard or out in our community. He and Will have helped me to break out of my old shell and try new things-new playgrounds, library story time, all that the Y we joined has to offer. We have met other moms and kids together and really created a great routine for ourselves. I am going to miss that so much. Again, I am blessed to have had this opportunity.
Now on to our new routine.....
For the next 4 weeks I will be working almost full time (36 hours/week) for the orientation period of my new job. After that I will work at most 32 hours/week, but most likely only 24 hours. So hold on tight because these next few weeks are really going to be crazy. Tom and I will be alternating (based on my start and end time each day) the pick up and drop off each day. We will be switching car seats around and parenting roles. Whoever is doing the AM drop off will do breakfast with the boys as well as get them ready, while the other will do the dinner end of the day. Up until now I have been doing all the meals with the boys and Tom has only had to get himself out of the door in the mornings. It is going to be a change for us all. We have a good plan set up now with a lot of 'night before' prep. We used this past week as a trial run to start to iron out some kinks and help us (ME) feel less anxious about this first week.
The boys are enrolled at a daycare and spent last week getting acclimated. It was a tough week, but I am so happy that I was able to ease them in before I had to actually be gone all day at work. There were lots of tears (mostly from me) but we made it to Friday. Jack seems to love it although he hates that they have nap time and told me firmly that he "DOES NOT WANT TO NAP." I talked to the teacher about it and it is just a quiet time and he does not HAVE to nap. He still insists on bringing a blanket and his pillow pet with him everyday (and will not leave them in his cubby each night-so we end up lugging them back and forth). He was so happy when I told him he doesn't actually have to sleep, but just be quiet and calm. There is a little mini cafeteria that he has lunch in each day where he sits at a table with 3 other 'friends'. There is outside playground play each morning and Monday and Wednesday afternoons they get time on the splash pad outside. Every Friday they have ice cream for the afternoon snack. What more could he ask for? :)
The sweetest part of last week was on the first day, as we walked into the center, Jack says:
"Mom, I'm going to miss Will today. Can I go and check up on him?"
This definitely got my waterworks started!
Will is having a little bit of a harder time adjusting. But can you blame him? He has just been with me all his life (and my mom for 2 months). He cries when I leave, screams some mornings. He didn't eat the first 2 days except for a few cheerios and some milk and refused to sleep at nap time. AWESOME! By Friday, I packed him a lunch, at the teachers request (there is a cook on site with a full kitchen so all their meals are prepared for them) and he did much better. He started napping too. I was reassured that his responses were all normal and that he IS adjusting fine, but that it will take time. His 2 teachers are very sweet and loving. I can't wait for them to start to see the "true" Will-all then sweetness and stubbornness and funniness that we know and love.
I know that these next few weeks are going to be challenging. I am mourning the loss of my endless days off, of playground adventures, poolside afternoons, zoo trips, museum afternoons and library story times. I am excited to start a new journey with work. I am excited to start to use my brain again. I am nervous to meet new people and get to know a new hospital. I am sad to lose my awesome gym ritual but know I will find a new way to incorporate what I have come to love. I will miss my boys immensely each day but look forward to seeing their smiles when I pick them up. I can't wait to hear about their days and see what they have learned. I know that this crazy time will pass and a new crazy will step in.
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