Our dirty little family secret....

Pacifier, Binky, Paci, whatever you call it, they are the most amazing and habit forming item on your baby registry. We started with them early. The first thing parenting books tell you is that if you are breastfeeding, a binky will cause nipple confusion and only provide you with problems when nursing. I wanted to give breastfeeding a fair shot. I wanted to do it right. So no binkies. That lasted about 12 hours in the hospital. I caved to a crying little face that didn't want to eat but just needed some comfort. Here we are 3 1/2 years later and we have created a full blown addict. I have watched enough Intervention on A&E to know that for every addict there is an enabler. I AM THAT ENABLER (but don't give Tom too much credit here....he has been known to push the binkies at the right moment too). Let me back up a second....that fateful night in the hospital did NOTHING to change how successful Jack was at nursing. He was a champion. No problem and so the binkies got pushed and pushed. They mostly were saved for bedtime/naptime, meltdowns in the car, horrible procedures (staples to the back of the head, for instance), etc. We quickly cut out the car binky and the day time binky use. I thought I was super mom. All that was left was the nap/bedtime binky....how hard would that be. HA HA HA. This is where the enabler in me came shining through. Tom told me that when Jack turned 2 we HAD to get rid of those binkies. We had a new baby on the way. They had to be gone before Will arrived. Ok I said, but in my heart I knew I couldn't take them from him. His 2nd birthday came. Tom was ready to take them away. I gave up every and any excuse I could find.

Jack receiving his binky in the mail from Kay Kay after we left it in Florida. Made his day!

"I am 6 months pregnant, I am exhausted, I can't be up all night with Jack crying for his binky, We just moved him into a big boy bed, there is so much that is going to change, they are his source of comfort, what is the real difference between him having a binky and a blankie?, No one has to know, He only uses them at night.....and the list went on and on. Tom gave in. Jack kept the binkies. We continued to ENABLE his addiction.

Will arrived and promptly got started on the path to a binky addiction of his own. No trouble with nursing this kid. I bought more binkies. We got to the point where we decided we were no longer buying Jack binkies-if they got lost, that was it, they were gone. And then he started chewing on them so much that they got these big holes in them and I was afraid a piece would fall off in his sleep and he would choke. I broke down. I bought 2 MORE BINKIES. Pirate ones, no less, to ensure he would NEVER give them up, I guess.

My stance on keeping them was strengthened when at Jack's 3 year well visit the doctor and I had this exchange.

Doctor: (after looking in Jack's mouth) "Does he suck his thumb?"
Me: (VERY PROUDLY) "No, HE DOES NOT SUCK HIS THUMB."
Me: (head lowered and in a whisper) "but he does still use a binky-BUT ONLY AT NIGHT"
Doctor: (looking from Jack to little Will) "No big deal. You have much bigger things on your plate. He will give it up eventually."

I was ELATED!! I was waiting to be scolded and here I was ALMOST praised. No need to stop using them now. Then we moved. And the excuses and bad timing just kept piling up like old junk mail.

Here we are today-Jack gets his binky at bedtime ONLY. They are otherwise stored in a drawer in my dresser so he can't "steal" them for a fix during the day. He comes into bed with us each morning, has some milk and watches a show until Will gets up. All the while barking orders at us through a clenched teeth, binky mouth. IT MAKES ME CRAZY!!! "Take those binkies out when you want to talk" I have been known to bark in the early morning hours. I have finally reached MY breaking point....THEY HAVE TO GO!

Enter BINKY FAIRY!

Jack currently has 3 binkies that he holds near and dear to his heart, the green one, the blue one and the pirate one. He is allowed 2 at a time each night. One he sucks on and one he first rubs on his eye lids to help him get to sleep and then it falls into the covers or ends up under the bed. The reason this has been something I have delayed is very simple....

At bedtime, we brush, we read, we get the binkies, DONE. Why mess with something so easy and wonderful?! I know that 4 is fast approaching and I am fearful of what the dentist will say when we go. I know he can't have it forever. Tom and I decided that this was going to be it, we were just going to do it. I read a little online about "plans of attack" and "protocol" for getting rid of the binky. The binky fairy seemed like a great choice for us. We started talking about it 3 days before by giving him a little chat in the morning and then again at night-each time counting down the days until the binky fairy would come and reminding him what a big boy he is and that the binky fairy would leave him a special surprise if he gave up his treasured binks. At first he was ok with it. On day 2 when I said "....in 2 more days...." he promptly  refuted, "but you said...'in 3 days'". Yes, I explained, that was yesterday, now it is only 2 days and tomorrow it will be ONE more day. His other gem of a response- "Why doesn't the binky fairy just go buy the babies NEW binkies? They don't want my old ones." Aaaahh the little germ-a-phobe. Another favorite of mine, "So when the Binky Fairy takes my binkies and Will's binkies..." "He is only taking yours." "WHAT?!"

And so here we are....THE DAY HAS ARRIVED!! (or it did YESTERDAY)

We made a special envelope and put the binkies inside. Jack said "How about we just put ONE in this time?" but in the end he put all three. We put 2 special stickers on the envelope and walked as a family out to the mailbox to put them inside. A brave face the whole time.

Into the envelope they go...1, 2, 3...

Are you serious about this? 

Off to the mailbox

In they go...see you later binks!

Oh My GOD, what did I just do....

High fives!

At bedtime we did our normal routine, but at the last minute, the little bottom lip began to quiver and he asked if we could go to the store tomorrow to get him some "big boy binkies." Good try, but NO.
"but I need something to chew on to keep me warm."
"Here is your sheet and blanket, good night."

He got up once to check that the binkies "were safe" and gave them a pretend snack for their trip with the binky fairy. There were some tears, but they didn't last long. Tom laid in his bed with him until he fell asleep. He came into our bed at 2am. Never once asked for the binkies again and fell right asleep. Night one was deemed a success. A pile of presents with a special note waited downstairs for him and he was so excited. Tom and I both told him how proud we were of him. He said he was proud of himself too. This kid cracks me up. Since it is "Free donut with a drink day" at DD, I caved and got him a chocolate donut to reinforce his "braveness" about giving up the binkies. I am trying not to think about bedtime tonight. We will cross that bridge when we get to it! Wish us luck. In the meantime, I am sure to further the habit of our other child so that I can be writing this same post in 2 more years.

Thanks Target $1 bins!

The LOOT

Here is a screen shot of the letter from the Binky Fairy.

Have a great and binky-free weekend!